The Past 13 Days: Part 1 - The Rest of Training

So many things have happened since my last real update that I have decided to fill in the past 13 days through a series of posts. Here is part 1 of a 3 part series: TRAINING.

Thus far, you've seen some of the pictures of training on the Porch, which have basically been sitting and taking furious notes during training sessions. This moment that you are about to behold in still-frame form is the epic PICNIC REVEAL, in which the Center Directors reveal who their staffs are.

Special Note (to the people that are more interested in the pictures of ME and my doings): Since I took most of these pictures, there really aren't any of me. However, I experienced various iterations of The Picnic throughout my three years on staff, so you can just imagine me in the photos.

Here is how The Picnic unfolded:

First we gathered at the park and just had fun, playing frisbee and socializing and such. (Notice GORGEOUS view, by the way).

Then, we got in a big circle to sing some songs and eat some food.

These are the Center Directors. They have known now for a full 24 hours who their staffs are, and have been playing mind-games with other staffers by saying, "Hey so-and-so, are you excited to be in my county? BECAUSE YOU ARE." These are the 25 people responsible for the antics that will ensue.

The race begins! Staffers were informed to bring something "patriotic," so Jill here decided to go all out and lead the charge with the American Flag as she ran through the CD-tunnel.
Staffers run down the hill with all their speed, and take a knee to hear what's up at the next station:

Krecji, Zack Hobbs, Blair, Laurel, Jane, and Tobel give the command: A Staffer and a partner must fill a dixie cup - balanced on their forehead - with water, using only a straw...

Upon completion, staffers run at full speed to the next station, where Lynn and Big Dave teach them some sweet dance moves:

They keep running.

Greeted by more former staffers, they must now find a plate covered in whipped cream with their name on it. Without using their hands, they must discover the number written at the bottom of the plate, and memorize this number.

These people will be watching.
If you cheat, then you have to do wobbly-broom with a baseball bat, and run a lap.

If you somehow cheat AGAIN, then this guy is gonna get you with a t-shirt launcher.

Ok - all staffers have now learned their number. They now sit and listen for an NBA-style ASP draft, led by Bontregger and accompanied by Mikey K. At this point, the mass of staff is divided into their PM (Program Manager) groups, narrowing down the people and places where they're likely to be on staff.

After meeting their PMs, the staff groups must reenact the PM's favorite movie... I think this here is supposed to be Dodgeball.

So then some more stuff happens, they run... more stuff happens... they run again... at this point, the staffers now know the general area where they will be staffing and have met the other two to three people on their staff (but they do not yet know their Center Director or their county).

MEANWHILE. Center Directors have hidden themselves in the woods. "Fake" Center Directors are hiding under blankets. The staffs, running slightly less fast than they were running before, now approach the circle of hooded figures, in anticipation of meeting their CD. Little do they know...

I was hiding under a blanket, pretending to be a CD. Behold my unveiling...

Immediately prior to the posing of this picture, I'm screaming "YAY YOU'RE MY STAFF AREN'T YOU EXCITED TO BE LIVING IN A VAN WITH ME THIS SUMMER AS FELLOW CHAPLAINS??? OMG YAY YAY YAY!!! GROUP PICTURE!!!

I love how everybody in this picture looks slightly confused... only Lorin (on the left) actually thought I was her CD.

Once I revealed that I was NOT their CD, we hid them under the blankets for the real CDs to unveil.

Lindsey Long and the Wolfe County Staff

Bryant Abel and the Harlan County Staff

(Lindsey and Bryant were on staff with me in Claiborne County in '08)

Steve Tomick and the Knott County Lotts Creek Staff (my homebase staff)

If you have read this far, then 1) I applaud your attention span/your lack of other important work to do, and 2) I offer you this disclaimer:

ASP is a Christian ministry: we accept people right where they are, just the way they are, but we usually have a little fun along the way.

At the end of the picnic, all the staffs go out together as one happy little staff family to get icecream and get to know each other. Meanwhile, the support staff, admin, and everybody else who was involved (but doesn't have a staff of their own) goes back to Jonesville to eat icecream in celebration of yet another picnic well done.

Stay tuned for another update soon...